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Agape or Eros?

by on December 17, 2013

Agape is unselfish love.
Eros is selfish love.

Agape loves to give.
Eros loves to get.

Agape is healthy.
Eros is unhealthy.

Agape will bless you.
Eros will kill you.

God’s way is Agape. Agape is God’s way. When you live in a healthy environment, you learn Agape. You learn to give – not to get, but to give from a heart of love. That sets the standard for life. Life is about giving. Life is about the love of God – Agape.

Agape values you. You are loved and appreciated for who you are. Agape people build you up and call you to a higher plane of life. They put your needs first before their own. They seek those who need help and provide for them.

Agape is the love of God. It is the love of God to you. It is the love of God that flows through you to love other people. That is the essence of Agape.

On the other hand, when you live in an unhealthy spiritual environment you do not see Agape exemplified. When you see selfishness and control in your primary caregivers, you can lose sight of real love. It does not exist in your thinking. You only think, how can others meet my unhealed needs and hurts? That is Eros. Eros is wrong.

Eros lives to possess, acquire or control – it is always self-seeking even when appearing to be gracious. Eros is sourced in pain and inadequacy. Pain always seeks pleasure and performance and image to deaden the pain. That is the essence of Eros.

Eros sees you as an object. First of all, you are an object to be used. Secondly, you are an obstacle to Eros love. Eros uses you to love itself. When you need love, Eros sees you as an obstacle to love of itself because you need some of the love that Eros is demanding.

If you cooperate with Eros people they will honor you. If you do not, they are a bottomless pit of neediness. They will never get enough of self-gratification. They will exact it from you at any and all costs. That is the price of Eros.

Eros seeks illegitimate pleasures: immorality, money, power. Performance replaces love. Lust replaces love. Politics replaces love. Self replaces love. There is no real love – only self-seeking.

Agape seeks and heals. Agape blesses and comforts. Agape goes out of its way to find people who have needs. Agape gives of its substance. Agape is the essence of love in the Kingdom of God. Agape is the essence of Heaven. To live in Agape is to live in a foretaste of the joy of Heaven today.

Seek, accept, and rejoice in the perfect love of God and the imperfect love of other people. Realize that you are valuable and need to be valued. Do not allow yourself to devalued by Eros. Do not devalue other people with Eros. Agape is God’s way. It needs to be your way today.

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