Skip to content


by on May 7, 2015

Grooming is a word with many definitions. For the purpose of this discussion it means: Seemingly generous actions with the goal of attempted control of human thinking and behavior for the purpose of furthering an agenda.

Powerful persons and groups groom people to think and live in certain ways. The people are then rewarded for their compliance and/or punished for non-compliance. The control typically takes the form of giving or withholding of the approval of powerful persons in the system.

Hitler is the classic example. He controlled vast numbers of people and produced behaviors that were horrific, to say the least. The people obeyed the system Hitler created. Obedience is compliance to and with a system. Obedience is heralded as laudable and obligatory. These people killed Jews in good faith and without conscience that they were doing wrong. Such is the power of grooming.

In a grooming situation people are made to feel guilty when they are not. People are made to feel not guilty when they are guilty. People make confessions for things that are not wrong all the while living in ways that are not right and feeling ok about the way they are living.

Grooming produces wrong concepts of God and wrong concepts of right and wrong.

In a worst case scenario a child is groomed to exchange sex for candy and other favors. In an even worse case scenario, a whole culture is groomed to genocide. In between there are churches and other groups that groom members to totally control their thinking and behaviors.

Girls can be groomed to accept the improper behaviors of the men of their culture. They can be conditioned to believe that they need to comply with the sexual demands and expectations of the men. They learn that the men are not to be trusted. When they take measures to protect themselves, they are eliminated from the culture.

Children need to be trained from an early age to not be groomed by anyone. Victims of incest are threatened by fear and harm. Children need to be taught to report any and all unacceptable behavior. They need to learn to suspect overly nice behaviors from people they do not know well. Grooming takes many forms.

Powerful leaders and systems give or withhold approval to control behaviors. Bill Gothard’s system is a classic. He was untouchable, all the while eliminating those who would challenge him and his system. Compliant persons were promoted. Those who insisted on truth were eliminated. He was so powerful that parents did not believe their own children who reported improprieties. Such is the power of grooming. Eventually this produces an entire system full of compliant types who value peace and loyalty over truth and Scripture. Unfortunately this is not uncommon in religious systems.

What is the remedy? Godly men must insist on living right and must require other men to live right and bring sanctions against them when they do not. Integrity, honesty, fidelity, and absolute truth are requisite for Godly living. If we allow the evil ways to gain an upper hand, the battle will be intensified until we can once again eradicate the evil thinking and evil people from control. Ezra and Nehemiah found themselves facing that almost impossible situation. They eventually brought God’s truth to bear on the situation and there was revival.

Zerubbabel, Ezra, and Nehemiah all faced incredible odds. They told the truth about the sinful behaviors. They confronted the wicked people. They took drastic steps to retake the culture from Satan and return it to God. The obstacles they faced seemed insurmountable. They persisted in the truth.

Apostle Paul and Apostle John both faced evil leaders. They refused to allow themselves to be groomed to fit a political, religious mold. They exposed the evil leaders for who they were and what they were doing.

We need real leaders. Not just impressive public speakers or influential controlling manipulators. We need leaders who can chart the course through difficult times and guide and feed the flock of God in healthy ways. That level of truth will prevent grooming. Those Godly leaders will expose the leaders who are grooming people to wrong thinking and behaviors. Those leaders will protect the innocent, remove selfish ambition, and build a supernatural culture of Holy Spirit Godliness.

Be careful to not be taken in by grooming in any way. Impressive and smooth talking people can easily persuade you to think and believe things that are wrong. Those who groom will schmooze you until you comply. If you refuse to comply they will do all they can to destroy you.

Test the spirits to see if they be of God. If they are not truth they are not of God. Heed the discernment of the indwelling Holy Spirit. Heed the truth of Scripture. Grooming is just as present today as it has ever been. Take care. Do not become a statistic while being convinced that you are doing what is right.

That your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.
These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one.
For “who has known the mind of the LORD that he may instruct Him?”
But we have the mind of Christ.

I Corinthians 2:5, 12-16

Comments are closed.