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‘Niceness’ is Not Love

by on June 21, 2015


It is amazing how we confuse definitions. It is more amazing how we create our own definitions.

The world runs on definitions. That is why it is so serious when people sow discord among brethren. ‘Nice’ people do that. Loving people do not do that. It is not love.

‘Niceness’ is something that can be turned on and turned off. It can change to scorn and disapproval without notice. Love doesn’t do that. Love won’t do that.

Love is enduring.
It is constant over the long term.
It endures challenges
Love endures changes
Love is honest
Love is warm
Love is accepting
Love is discerning
Love is bold
Love is tough
Love is relentless
Love can be trusted

Embrace love
Avoid ‘niceness’
Do not trust it.
It will blackmail you.
It will disappoint you
It will betray you
Do not trust it
Suspect it
Embrace love

Sometimes love is not ‘nice.’ Jesus asked Peter, ‘Do you love me?’ Jesus relentlessly asked Peter the question three times. That was not ‘nice.’ Peter was “grieved.” Jesus refused Peter’s answer. That was not ‘nice.’

Why would Jesus act like that? He was not being ‘nice.’

Did Jesus love Peter? Absolutely. He wanted Peter’s heart. He wanted to know that He had Peter’s heart. He wanted Peter’s commitment.

In our attempt to be ‘nice’, we miss love. We try to be ‘nicer’ and ‘nicer’ and ‘nicer.’ It does not work very well.

Somewhere we got the idea that ‘niceness’ is love. It is not. It is an imposter.
‘Niceness’ is to get something. Love is to give everything.
‘Niceness’ sets people up – for something. Do not trust it.

Trust love. Will you be hurt? Of course. But, what you gain will so outweigh what you lose that you will be richer, wiser, healthier and Godlier.
‘Niceness’ should make you wary.
Love will make you wealthy.
Do not be ‘nice.’
Chose love.

There are bible concepts that ‘nicely’ replace ‘niceness.’ Goodness comes to mind as does kindness. These are genuine Spirit fruit.

Do not accept ‘nice.’ Do not be drawn into lives of people who are ‘nice.’ It is so difficult to reject ‘nice’ but it must be done. Learn to discern between human ‘nice’ and Gods Spirit fruit. Kindness is good. Goodness is good. ‘Nice’ is not good.

Wise people discern when ‘nice’ is not for real and they do not fall for it. The real test is when you will not accept the ‘niceness’ of a person using ‘nice’ to control you. That is when you discover what their ‘nice’ is all about.

The Bible keeps the concepts of Love and Truth together. We must do that to be faithful to the Scripture.

Nicodemus was ‘nice’ to Jesus. Jesus was not ‘nice’ to him. Jesus loved him. Jesus told him the truth.

Ahab and Jezebel were ‘nice’ to Naboth. They held a banquet in his honor. Then they accused him falsely. Then they killed him. ‘Nice’ is manipulative – I Kings 21:8-14 – from banquet to false accusation to death.

‘Nice’ is a part of the process of manipulation. It is used and misused and is typically very effective. Only discernment can detect it. Only wisdom can perceive it. Only real love can counter it. Only God’s Holy Spirit can replace it.

Don’t be ‘nice.’ Live the fruit of the Holy Spirit today and always.

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