Abuse – the Tragedy – Part I
Abuse – the Tragedy – Part I
This sad subject is written from years of experience attempting to help persons in many kinds of problems. This is not for professional or legal counsel. Those counsels should be sought when they are needed. Abuse is a sin against humanity and against God. In many cases it is also a crime.
Sexual abuse is a tragedy. It has a history as old as history. It is a tragedy. In twenty seconds a person’s life can be totally altered. Some offences are brief and some go on for years. Some encounters are short-lived and some are the unending nightmares. Something designed by God to be beautiful can become the ugliest experience of life. This message will focus mostly on sexual abuse of girls by men. There are many other types of abuse. All are tragic. All are devastating. All are wrong. All are sin.
There are many types of abuse. When one person uses another person for personal pleasure or for personal expression of anger or hostility, that person’s life is violated. That person’s privacy is invaded. Long term abuse can occur in employment, religion, marriage, family and other social relationships.
Imposing feelings of guilt, blame, and fear on another person is abuse. Unpredictable outbursts of anger, constant put-downs, threats of harm, abandonment or rejection in marriage are typical types of abuse. Feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and constantly needing to go to extremes to keep the other person happy are signs of being abused.
Control and manipulation causing emotional distress by mocking and unfair joking are abuse.
Being nice to everyone but family is abuse. Wearing a mask of perfection in public while being a controller at home is abuse. Emotional or physical pressure to perform or keep quiet or any other forced behavior is abuse as are forced isolation or extreme jealousy or being constantly argumentative. Many times several types of abuse are used on the same person.
Many times the offender is older and stronger and more powerful than the victim. Most times the offender is known by the victim. Many times the offender is a member of the victim’s family. For a trusted person to abuse and/or manipulate an innocent person is unconscionable. It is wickedness. It is sin.
Some victims are girls and women. Some victims are boys or man. Most are young. The statistics are scary and sketchy. One in five girls and one in seven boys are statistics sometimes used to illustrate how pervasive the situation really is.
Most abuse victims suffer in silence. They are walking around you all the time at school, on the job, in church, at the office. They are everywhere. Most of them suffer in painful silence. They carry secrets in their minds and hearts. They have been injured in the most personal and painful ways. They carry fears and pains that are limiting and debilitating. Abuse is a hidden tragedy. It takes its quiet toll on the lives of many persons.
Not all abused people seem to suffer. They may have successfully placed the incidents into a mental “do not disturb” category, never to be re-visited. They may have developed a defensive personality that keeps the subject far away. They may have strong constitutions that will not allow the pain to control them. The abuse is still there waiting to cripple the victim’s responses to life.
Many abused persons have experienced healing. Their wounds have become scars. They still have some hurts, but through forgiveness and healing from Father God they live in freedom and victory. Kind, loving persons can bring the love of God to those who have been abused. Persons who have experienced healing from their abuse can be the best and most understanding counselors to those who still struggle.