Abuse the Tragedy – Part III
Abuse the Tragedy – Part III – Some abuse goes on and on and on
There are men and women who routinely abuse their spouses. No one knows. They function in society, the church, school, and work.
Many are nice. They know how to make life fun. They display trust and confidence and hold you in seeming high esteem. They ask your opinion on everything and pretend to honor your views. They say the nicest things you ever heard about yourself. They are too nice. Slowly they win your confidence and you give your control over to them.
They will eventually dictate every aspect of your life; who you talk to and where you go, how you dress and where and how you spend your money. They will seduce and charm and eventually isolate you – eventually you are totally controlled. They will lie to you and hurt you with no remorse. They use the nice-to-abuse cycle to keep the victim in check and control.
Most of the time they are not suspected of being abusers. Their public persona is impeccable to all but the most savvy and Spiritually astute persons. They can pray and evangelize. They are charmers to everyone except you. Their tears are convincing. People regard them as saints. Their magnanimity is legendary. They know how to act like you have hurt them so much. Anyone daring to challenge them is immediately suspect of being disrespectful of God’s authority. They control entire businesses or congregations or ministries or marriages.
They may have been deeply wounded somewhere – maybe in early childhood. They have the personality to overshadow the wounds and find their way into the hearts of many people. They may have been over-protected by a parent or caregiver and could never do anything wrong.
They got the idea that they could walk-on-water. Anyone daring to challenge them was immediately branded as evil and ungodly. They are the most clever gossips you will ever meet. They tell the most convincing stories you will ever hear.
You must leave their influence or eventually they will destroy you. As long as you give unquestioned support to their schemes, you are their best friend. If you should have the audacity to challenge them – they will destroy you with no remorse. They will marshal forces against you. They are god. The modern term is narcissism. They can be men or women. They belittle others and make sure that you know that you owe them everything. You would be nothing without them.
These people are abusers. They abuse those who will not fight back. They abuse those who will not run away. Does God not know? He knows. Does the Church know? Maybe not. They should. They should have wisdom and the discernment to know and to act to protect the innocent.
People should be taught to go for help when they are abused. People should be taught to recognize abuse in themselves and others. There is help. Life can change. God has the answer. Jesus is the answer.
These people need help. Few are strong enough to bring help to them. “Bold Love” and “Tough Love” are the answer. To be held accountable by the Church is what they need. Where are the churches that can do that?
This is the kind of love Jesus gave the religious leaders of His day. Did He love them? He did love them! How did He treat them? Did they feel loved? Only if we are willing to answer those questions and act on the answers will we be able to help these abusers and those they abuse.
The religious leaders of Jesus’ day were abusers. They had the truth, but they lived a lie – the lie of the Devil. That is what Jesus told them. “You are of your father the Devil!” They devoured widow’s houses. They placed loads on the backs of their people. They said “corban” instead of blessing their parents. They did not help the man who was beaten and robbed. They steal the limelight with false but convincing modesty. Their life is pitiable but they must be confronted.
What will we do today? Who will stand up and teach and act when wrong is happening? Will you? Will you risk getting involved? Will you support and defend the hurting and the innocent? Will you challenge the abused who have become the abusers? Will you provide solace and counsel for the ones in desperate need? Will you be a safe person in their life? Will you defend them?
Will you? Today?