Abuse the Tragedy – Part VIII – What Can be Done?
Abuse the Tragedy – Part VIII – What Can be Done?
The Question is: What must be done?
The guardian of purity is love – real love. Real, genuine love does not abuse or intentionally harm in any way. Love is the answer. God’s agape love is the answer. We must teach, demonstrate, live, model, exemplify, and in all other ways demonstrate the Love of God to family, society, and the whole world around us.
The Bible speaks – Proverbs 5, 6 and 7 give cautions on the misuse of sexuality. They emphasize the need for monogamous marriage – one woman and one man. Their bodies are for each other and for no one else. Their hearts are for each other and for no one else at the level of marriage commitment.
The Society perverts – The role of Pornography
The role of pornography is a sadly important factor. Porn desensitizes people to the need to honor and bless others. It invades the personal lives and minds of those who offend and those who are offended. Wrong patterns of thinking controls abusers. Media that is not Godly destroys healthy thinking. Sin of all sorts becomes acceptable or even normal. The base nature of humans is attracted to sexually explicit materials. This distortion of humanity is destructive to all involved and to many others who are impacted in any way.
The Church ignores – The Role of Apathy and ignorance
Lack of care by the Church – the church has largely ignored the problem
“She will get over it” “It is just harmless play” are answers I have gotten when speaking to religious leaders. Leaders are either guilty or just naïve – not always sure which. Either way, nothing is done. In my attempts to address the problem, very few leaders are willing to deal with these kinds of issues. It is time for that to change.
Parents and other adults ignore the risks and wrong behaviors of their children. Why? That is the question. Knowing the potential, long-term harm should make us diligent. Somehow, it has not. Any one wanting to be involved in protection can be seen as over-protective and maybe even meddling. Rum-springa (running around) is thought to be normal even when it involves inappropriate behaviors. Parents, wake up. Know what is happening and take steps to correct the sinful behaviors.
Even the Catholic Church did not respond in anger at this vile sin in its ranks. Those who were guilty were moved to other locations rather than being reprimanded and removed from places where they could continue to harm. Why would they not respond in anger? When they knew there was abuse, righteous anger would have, should have, caused them to deal justice to the situations. Jesus overturned the tables of dishonest men. The God zeal of His life prompted Him to take needed actions and use abrupt words and corrective measures to those around Him who were involved in sinful behaviors.
Abuse –- History
Servant girls and boys were available to men in many societies for much of history.
Societies considered girls as property; especially captive or slave/servant girls. In days gone by orphans, house maids, daughters, sisters, cousins, have been vulnerable.
Young boys have been abused by older boys and sinful men. Sometimes, women abused boys and girls in sexually ways. Sin has no bounds. It attacks and destroys. It will destroy society. Sometimes it is passed off as “child’s play” or other similar type of comment. It is not play of any type. It must be eradicated.
The role of the Law
Now the government is involved. Sexual abuse of underage persons is a crime. It is punishable by imprisonment. There are prominent men who are serving prison time for this type of crime today. Reporting these crimes is now mandatory to those in administrative roles. It is sad that it as come to that. Is the society, even Christendom, so desensitized to this abuse that the law has to become the social conscience? Sadly, it is true. This type of sin is vile and wicked. It must be punished. It must be forsaken and eliminated. When the Church does not live lives of holiness, the government will move in and enforce protection of underage persons.
In closed societies, there is some sort of immunity because of separation in lifestyle and/or attire. Who is to protect the innocent? Perpetrators are typically known by the victim. They lose confidence in offenders. These types of systems protect the offenders instead of holding them accountable and defending the innocent.
Sometimes victims protect the offender.
1. It may be because they are seen as honorable citizens or are church leaders or family members.
2. It may be because the victim has been threatened with harm to themselves or to their family member. They may be told that no one would believe them.
3. It may be because they are enjoying the attention and may even enjoy the emotional and physical contact. This is seldom the case but can be true.
What must be done?
Teach children about good touch and bad touch. Tell them to scream and fight back if approached by a potential abuser, no matter who the person is. Tell them to report any inappropriate behavior to authorities, especially to parents and to seek help by a trustworthy person. Tell abused persons to report the abuse to as many people they need to tell until help is found and safety assured.
Role of Men
Love from a pure heart and mind. Love without expecting sexual compensations. Protect without improprieties. See yourself as a protector – not as an exploiter. Never imagine in your mind the other person in sexual activity with you. Take those thoughts captive to the control of the Holy Spirit. Men must be taught to honor and protect children and women. Our homes and churches must take the lead in this area of life. Now. Men, we are responsible. Let us love with Godly love. Now.
If you have participated in abuse – repent, confess and restore your honor.
If you have been abused – seek counsel to walk with you through the healing process.
Read some of the helpful books on the subject – there are many.
If you are a person in official position of authority, make no doubt about it, you will report abusive behavior to the proper authorities. Also, protect the vulnerable persons for whom you are responsible. Do not conceal this sinful behavior. Seek to bring healing to the offender but do not obstruct justice.
May the good Lord convict us and guide us in correcting the ills of sin in our people and all around us. My the good Lord heal the abused and abusers. Love will heal. Real love, the love of God for His creation will bring healing. May that be your experience. Today.