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Adequately Loved

by on November 28, 2017

Adequately Loved

We are all egotists – We focus on me and my interests and wants. Why are we like that? Is there a remedy?

Here is a life-changing quote from Dallas Willard:
“Egotism is pathological self-obsession, a reaction to anxiety about whether one really does count. It is a form of acute self-consciousness and can be prevented and healed only by the experience of being adequately loved. It is, indeed, a desperate response to frustration of the need we all have to count for something and held to be irreplaceable, without price. Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard

We are all made to count. We are made to be valued. We are made to be worthy. We are made to be loved. When we do not experience those things we cling to our ego and defend and protect and insist. We revert to egotism – a “pathological self-obsession” because we are not sure that we really are important. Egotism is our “desperate response, a form of acute self-consciousness” designed to make us feel important and significant when we doubt.

That approach to life makes us so very fragile – like a Glass Menagerie. We become unapproachable and unteachable and defensive and fearful. We defend ourselves at any and all costs. We are driven by fear and not directed by love. We are easily offended and we take offense for others.

What is the answer? According to Willard, Egotism can be “prevented and healed only by the experience of being adequately loved.” He is right. When we are adequately loved we become strong and durable. We know that we are safe, no matter what the danger. Love is the answer, no matter what the question. The experience of adequate love, forms us into who we really are in Christ.

To experience His love we must resist and relinquish the strangle-hold of our own ego and let Him control our life and experience. We stop the defensive behaviors and drop the walls we have built. We stop walling people out of our lives. We become teachable and responsive to God and His children. We can be vulnerable without retaliation. We can be transparent without being arrogant. We can exchange our lives of frustration for lives of service and find our joy and peace in Him instead of in ourselves.

As we grow in love, we develop discernment. We can risk. We can open our hearts to hurting people because we are safe and can provide safety for those who are not safe and do not feel safe. We can be authentic and not pretentious. We can develop healthy boundaries while we resist walls and building walls. As we long for healing we accept criticism and take guidance to heart and mind. The pride of egotism gives way to the blessing of humility. Disrespect does not destroy us. False accusations do not stall us.

Forgive when there seems no reason to forgive. Love when there seems no reason to love. Forgiveness and love will attack your ego from within. Your ego will fall to the power of love and grace. Truth will dispel the lies. Love will win the Spiritual battle raging within your own heart. Peace will ensue. Patience will persist. Goodness will reign. Gentleness will rule. Faith will perceive. Meekness will moderate. Self-control will govern. The strength of joy will overcome.

You do not have to be an egotist. You are loved and can experience the love of God for yourself and for you to share with others. Infuse other lives with a sense of value. Show them by your words and behavior that they are of inestimable value and worth. Your life can bless those who have not yet experienced that they truly are adequately loved. You can adequately love them because you are adequately loved. God loves you. He will always love you. You can trust that.

This experience can and will be life-changing for you and for all those you encounter in your life. When you know that you know that you know that you are adequately loved, your egotism will no longer control you and real life will begin.

Jesus came to earth that you may have life and that you can have it more abundantly. That is true individually and collectively. Christ’s Church is made up of those who love and are loved. Accept that adequate life of love. Accept that contagious life of love and love of life. Love is the answer. You are adequately loved. Love adequately.
That is God’s way of life.

From → Christian Living

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