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by on January 15, 2018

This is an age of feelings. Feelings have been ignored for so long that they have now taken center stage. I cannot teach truth, I have to coddle feelings. ‘People never forget how you made them feel.’ These are the buzz-words of the day.

We are body, soul, and spirit. Our feelings are important. They connect us with ourselves and with the surrounding environment. It is important to note that they are our own. They are the way we process and adapt to the world around us. They are, therefore, our own. We must own them. We cannot blame other people for them. They are our perceptions and interpretations of life’s events.

Sadness and joy, pain and pleasure, anger and anxiety, love and hate are all feelings. Sometimes they are based on facts and sometimes they are purely based on our perception of the facts. In any case, they are important, they are our own and we must own them.
Other people can join with us and share our emotions/feelings to bear some of the burden and share the joy. If they are true friends they will also try to help us find the reason for our feelings and find the source of the reason why we have acted or reacted to the situations around us.

It is important that we do not cause situations that create painful feelings for self and/or others. At the same time I am not responsible for your feelings. What I am responsible for is to treat you with respect, truth, and dignity and not unnecessarily create troubling feelings.
I can empathize and share with your joy or sadness but I must remember that it is yours and not mine. I am not responsible for your feelings and you are not responsible for mine. It is important that we accurately discern the facts and intents and accept the legitimate feelings that are produced in those situations.

Those feelings are profound interpretations that can be such amazing experiences in our lives. Feelings are designed to enhance life but can not be allowed to control it for self or for others. Feelings follow facts and not vice versa. Feelings that are accurate interpretations of life events make life a rich experience. Feelings that are used to control or are inaccurately interpreted will make your life a miserable experience for yourself and those around you.

Boundaries are very important in understanding feelings. If I feel responsible for your feelings I am violating your boundary. If you feel that you must make me happy at all costs, You are violating my boundary and not respecting your own. If we do not respect boundaries, we will blame each other for our feelings. We will not know how to respond to that blame because it is beyond our control.

Immature people do not take responsibility for their own feelings and will use their lack of boundaries to violate your boundaries and blame you for their feelings. They will use feelings to control and manipulate you. Your acceptance or rejection of me is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to live a consistent Christian life with all intention and integrity and then you are free to interpret and have the feelings about me that you choose. Mature people make wise choices and communicate and interpret the behaviors of others as they are intended and actually experienced.

I am me and you are you. We need to live in ways that respect each other’s actions and feelings. I am not responsible for your feelings and you are not responsible for mine. Your feelings are yours and mine are mine. We can share and compare and hopefully be drawn closer together. But, we cannot live on the feelings or we will not know who we are and will not know who anyone else is either.

Facts and events can be interpreted to suit our intents and the feelings that follow often do not accurately represent the events.
Facts presented to a person who is controlled by feelings can be interpreted as invasive or manipulative so that the actual events are rejected and the feelings preserved that create the image to match the image in the mind or the image of the self that has become their identity.

These identities are so difficult to dispel because they are spirits of fear and worthlessness and those spirits work against the power of the Holy Spirit. When we find this, we have to bring that person out of the control of the evil spirits. Only God can really do that.

We are body, soul, and spirit. It is so important that we are wholly committed and submitted to the Creator and His Holy Spirit. Only then can our feelings be the huge blessing and the sensitive experience that He intended for them to be.

From → Christian Living

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