Skip to content

Christian Maturity – Part IV – Parents


Christian Maturity – Part IV – Parents
Children are gifts from God and they are the heritage of the Lord. Parents are the key to maturity in the lives of their children.

What this means is that the wounds of the parents must be healed before they can become healthy parents raising healthy children. Parents who have become adults can make a home where more adults grow up. Parents who are fearful and/or insecure produce more of the same and their lack of adulthood is passed to the next generation.

Father – father is the key to the family. He must be absolutely honest and a man of total integrity. He must be a man of the Word and the Spirit of God. There must never be even a hint of infidelity or abuse or neglect in his life. He must discipline fairly and carefully. He must not provoke his children to anger. He will raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He must be a Spiritual leader. He must build discipline into the children God gives to him by ordering his home with respect and protection for the family in every way.

Mother – mother is the heart of the family. She sets the tone for the entire family and the home. She meets the needs of each person. Her gracious and kind spirit makes the home a place of hospitality for family, friends, and strangers. She teaches her children to work and develop skills for homemaking. Her cheerful countenance and pleasant voice bring God’s peace to all who enter her doors. Her willing cooperation with her husband sets the tone for harmony for all. A mother’s touch brings healing and blessing to all the family.

When parents are not healthy – secrets, suspicions, immaturity, insecurity, ego-centric behaviors – the home can be the saddest place on earth and the children grow older without really growing up and becoming mature and healthy individuals socially, emotionally, and Spiritually.

When parents are healthy – no secrets, no suspicions, mature living – the home is the sweetest place on earth and the children can grow up to make healthy decisions and choices and raise healthy generations after them. Love flows and grace abounds and discipline sets the stage for healthy and happy persons who are models in the community and the church and the nation.

Most children grow up believing that their home was normal whether it was ‘normal’ or not. The children eventually come of age and make their own decisions. At that time they become responsible for their decisions. They must honor their parents for the blessing that they were/are and choose healthy role models in places where their parents were not.

Cycles can be broken. Children can make good choices in the face of wrong and sin. In this way, children can grow up to be healthy parents when God brings that opportunity and responsibility to them.

Christian Maturity – Part III -Late = Zero


Late = Zero

What to do? Students could not seem to turn in assignments on time. It took more time to chase late papers than it did to grade on-time papers.

An idea! What if there would be an incentive to do the work on time? What if there would be a reason to be prepared on the assigned date? What if there would be a penalty for being late. What to do? How to accomplish that?

An idea! What if late equaled zero; late = 0?

The following year I implemented the policy.
“It is very simple – late = 0. How complicated can that be?”

Will it be tested? It was tested, but it stayed. I held my ground. Some students had to find out the hard way, but it worked. It worked for me and it worked for them.

What a blessing for them and for me. Papers in on time and graded on time and returned on time and no more chasing late assignments.

Life can be very simple. Implement the right policies and life will change. Discipline is the bottom line. Do it now. Do it right. Be blessed and bless others by doing what is right

Hopefully that lesson served the students well. Hopefully it created in them the concept of timely accomplishment.

People will rise to expectations. If the group expectation is healthy and useful, life can be a classroom of and for good people.

God has His own timetable. What is it? We do not know. My day may be today. His Word says, be ready. In that case, late may be too late. We will be graded on life by the Master Teacher. Are you ready? Will your assignments be done? On time? A zero in school is a minor matter. Then, it will be of eternal consequence.


Christian Maturity – Part II – The Adults in the Room


The Adults in the Room – concept

In every situation in life, maturity is critically needed. Persons with a high level of maturity are sometimes referred to as the ‘Adults in the Room.’
Who is the adult in the room? It is the person who can determine the wisest course of action and pursue it in the best manner. These people are so needed and there are never enough of them to bless and direct the other persons.

Typically each situation has three groups of people:
1. Supporters on one side,
2. Detractors on the other side,
3. Followers in the middle.
The Adult must empower the supporters and marginalize the detractors so the middle group can follow the Adult and the supporters. Why must it be that way? The detractors are typically the loudest group but most of the time they are not sure what needs to happen, much less how to make it happen. They typically do not have the courage to move ahead with wisdom but do have the boldness to challenge the Adults/leaders.

Sometimes the ‘detractors’ are correct. In that case they need adults in the room to provide the direction for the path of truth to be known and followed. In this case the adults must be especially strong and stable.

Adults must be able to tell the difference between the truth and fiction that is presented as the truth. They can tell the difference between truth and what others may be calling truth. When someone is confronted with truth but they claim that they are being mistreated – adults can tell the difference.

Personal characteristics of ‘Adults’
Confident in truth
Adequate wisdom and understanding
Self aware
Self control
Knowledge of lenses through which to view situations
Knowledge of personal limits
Awareness of surroundings
Flexible enough to entertain other’s views
Genuine love for people
Spiritually strong
Emotionally healthy
Patient at the right time
Know when to say ‘no’
Know how to say ‘no’

Leadership characteristics of ‘Adults’
Able to inspire
Able to engage
Able to see and understand the big picture
Able to communicate effectively
Able to assess personalities
Able to access abilities
Able to bring people to focus on opportunity
Able to process fairly
Able to protect the innocent
Able to hold the guilty accountable
Able to apply appropriate principles
Able to create a team with purpose
Able to communicate effectively
Able to utilize individual gifts
Able to encourage
Able to stand alone for what is right
Enough history to bring history to the present situation
Able to avoid polarization and escalation
Avoid use of power unless absolutely required

Characteristics of immaturity
Selfishness – even when they try to appear as servants
Anger – when other methods do not work
Dishonesty – with convincing lies
Defensive – with convincing logic
Demanding – with convincing drama
Pouty – the perfect ruse
Gossip – to polarize a group
Controlling – by what ever means available
Controlled – by misunderstandings
Martyr complex – ‘everybody is against me’

Who are the Adults in the Room in the Bible?
They are the Daniels, the Josephs, the Esthers, the Deborahs and all the unnamed men and women who stood above the low life of following sin and wrong ways of living. They paid the price of obedience to God. Nehemiah was the classic adult. No allurement or threat changed the focus that God had placed in his heart.

Who are the Adults in the Room today?

The adults are those who are filled with and are obedient to the Holy Spirit of our God. They are not controlled by the drama around them. They maintain integrity and purity and genuine love in the face of whatever Satan throws against the Church of Jesus Christ in this day.

God is calling persons like that today.
Maybe He is calling you to be one of them?


Godly Men and Deliverance


Godly Men and Deliverance

Things can get bad.
So bad that even if Godly men are present,
God will not deliver that society from punishment.
Godly men will still speak for God –
Even in the face of the wrath of God.


Ezekiel 14:14-18 Though these three men, Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it, they should deliver but their own souls by their righteousness, saith the Lord GOD. Though these three men were in it, as I live, saith the Lord GOD, they shall deliver neither sons nor daughters; they only shall be delivered, but the land shall be desolate. Though these three men were in it, as I live, saith the Lord GOD, they shall deliver neither sons nor daughters, but they only shall be delivered themselves.

Jeremiah 15:1 Then said the LORD unto me, Though Moses and Samuel stood before me, yet my mind could not be toward this people: cast them out of my sight, and let them go forth.

Christian Maturity – Part I


Christian Maturity – How to Become Mature, Christian Adults

God has immutable laws for life, family, parenting and Church. When we follow God’s laws, everyone is blessed. When we do not follow God’s laws, we create confusion that is passed to the next generations. Turn your life to God today. He is waiting to bless in ways you never dreamed that He could or would.

Hurt people hurt people. They will find ways to do that, sometimes intentionally and sometimes subconsciously. Hurt people are the center of their self-made universe. It is not necessary to live like that. God has plans for blessing you. God wants you to grow to maturity in every way. He wants you to be and act like a mature, Christian adult.

This discussion could apply to you, your spouse, child, mom, dad, or anyone you know. The way people grow up is what they believe to be true. As men of God it is our task to live and speak truth and get in the way of evil and bring the healing of God to them and be “Jesus” to our world – be willing to pay – whatever the cost to us. We will look at areas that apply to this subject and determine what God’s plan is for His human creation.

Love is the answer. People fear love and so they hide and run away from love. Can that fear be conquered? God is the good, good, Father who gives us what we need to accept and revel in His love.

Christ’s Call to His Church


Christ’s Call to His Church

1. Be the body of Christ

2. Make disciples

Joy in Marriage


May your wife be a blessing to you.

Rejoice with her, the wife of your youth.

She is as a lovely deer, and a graceful doe.

Be blessed with her at all times.

May you always be captivated by her love.

from Proverbs 5:18-19